Greek Tragedy - The Wombats

She hits like ecstasy,
Comes up and bangs the sense
out of me,

So free up the cheaper seats,

Here comes a Greek tragedy.

Only In After

One half of a face,
but never in its entirety.
Two separate entities,
Opposite ends of the world,
connected by one,
invisible fragile thread.
When will it ever,
be privy to another's eyes?

Infant Mind

I am becoming dull.
I am becoming unsharpened.
I am becoming stupid.

This must not go on. I miss the days where I grew and learnt of things within myself. I have not fed those two in months, and they have shrunk into mere infants. I could not talk to them, and they could not take care of me. Whatever shall I do when time and passion has eluded my grasps for so long? It's turned me dull.

I could not stand this. Could not live like this. I must have time alone so that the journey may continue. I need my precious time, and therefore my guardians.

Inner Feelings

Love. Falling in love.. for the first time.

There's a certain thrill to it. The excitement. The anticipation. The fear. The sadness... For the first time, they felt like hell. It would've hurt so much when it was going badly, and it would've hurt still when it was all flowers and sunshine. Even flowers have poison, and the sun might just burn you.

Time passes by, and I still recognize that feeling. That unsettling passion vibrating from within my ribcage. The numbness that it brings to my dominant hand. The tears that moistened my eyes at unwanted times.

You're hurting me. You're killing me.

But that's just unavoidable when I'm in love with you.

Bodily

It creaks. It pulsates. Then it freezes up.

What if it ends soon, by sunrise?

Uncomfortable Distance

Rooted body. Touch.
Spiritless. Emotionless.

The distance between us is undeniable, yet invisible.

I became lost, stranded, all alone. But for all I know, he could be too.

I see him. But how will I find him in this fog? I can't feel him. I can't sense him. I can't find him.

It's cold, and I don't want it to get dark.

Let's get out of this fog before then.

Fallen Knight

I am not sad; it's never that simple. I am in pain. Nobody sees the blood-stained armour I wear, dented and bruised by blows. There is no justice on this land, and our knights are spread thin across this wretched earth.

The shapeshifters have begun to catch up to us, and soon they will devour us. Even I have been bitten by one just a few nights ago. I thought I had escaped it, but I know now, it lies in the shadow, waiting for me to leave an opening; a weakness, and then it will strike at the darkest hour.

Gratitude Day 1

1. Much gratitude is expressed to my boyfriend, who was able to seize the chance to meet my parents today.

2. I am grateful for the Arctic Monkeys songs in my PC share that helped me get through the day. Lel.

3. I am also grateful for my brother's apparently good mood today.

Null

He sang his own funeral hymn,
She was omniscient,
There was not much she could do to help him,
Not that he would have found any sufficient.

The Undesirable Paladin

For when she spreads love,
or when she shares words of wisdom,
or when she sheds light on truth,
she becomes undesirable.

Life Madness

There you are again, standing alone in the dark, with haunting lyrics and thoughts infesting your deep mind. You are physically alone, yet you yearn for the other half of your heart and soul.

I will persevere.

Keeper of Secrets

It's amazing how snugly I've fit in to the place I now call home. Going there every day is a basket of joy, because I get to spend time with my people. Never have I met such a congregation of... whatever I am. We match like socks and it's just too amazing for me. I've never fit in so well anywhere else before, much less liked. It's a delight, really, but it also comes off as a shock, haha.

It's okay, though. I'm transitioning just fine.

Giggles and fun are mostly part of the daily routine, but there are also the burden and mystery of secrets. Apparently, I've established myself trustworthy enough to receive secrets from... well, several people! Even from those I never even expected to receive secrets and trust from, especially in a relatively short amount of time. It means we just click so well. Or because they're all rash in making decisions like me. Or arrogant/overconfident (although there were some who went over the top, but I've nipped that one in the bud).

For the people who are in my circle of friends, we just seem to have that same way of thinking and parring level of intelligence that made us so comfortable with each other.

Since my recent improvement, yes, I have discovered that I have a knack for being there, everywhere. Therefore, again, I have become a middleman which access to various sides of the story. A confidante. A mouse who chisels her way through the cracks. A keeper of secrets.

The Broken Wall

It's going to fall on me.

It's going to fall on my head, while I'm asleep, and I'm going to die.

I wouldn't see it coming, but it's going to fall on me.

Blood would seep out of my physical body, draining me, rendering me thoughtless.

I can see the cracks ever growing on the walls.

They will continue to form until they are complete, and it's going to fall on me.

It would hurt my head, and I would be rendered thoughtless.

I can't think anymore.

I can't.

The Stronghearted

Always remember that the crowd that applauds your coronation is the same crowd that will applaud your beheading. People like a show. - Terry Pratchett.

People flock from one show to the next as fleetingly as seasons come and go. But there had been certain individuals who stayed to watch the show and applaud it, however unlike the other people in the crowd, who have long gone. These individuals stayed because they wanted to. They liked it. They felt a kinship for this particular show.

Here, a congregation of the strong hearts, for they were once wounded and have fallen with their faces planted on the muddy ground, but got up again.

They understood this.

They understand.

And they vow not to be a 'people', but a 'person'.

Family of Dogs

You said it yourself.

"It's a dog-eat-dog world. Deal with it."

Oh yeah?

Well, I'm not a harmless little puppy anymore.

I'm a big, mean bitch trained to bite back.

Even you.

Deal with that.

Flowery Death

I smiled at him when he first stepped in.
It was an invitation for him to sit next to me.
He smelled nice, like flowers.
It was a nice Friday night to go out.
But he was alone.

As the bus moved,
I worked out a way to start a conversation,
but I couldn't find the right words,
so I stayed silent until we reached the train station,
where we missed the first train,
and had to wait for the second one.

I asked where he was going,
and he replied,
"Just going out for a drink or two,
then, straight back home,"
I nodded. I understood.
But he was alone.

The figure that followed behind him,
from the bus,
It was waiting.

He smelled nice.
He smelled a flowery death.

He was not alone.

Mistaken

Why? Why do you have to lash out at me for trying to do something good? Why am I always being seen as the bad guy when all I wanted was to do good? Do you really want me to go rogue? Would you really like it better if I really did become the villain? Is that what you want?

What the fuck do you want from me?!

They who created me

"Damn it! Deal with it! Learn how to like it!" he shouted as he pounded on the dining table. "It disgusts me to see you disliking this and that. Be a Malay, will you?" I stared at the nasi lemak in front of me; a meal I don't even like.

It's not my fault I don't like it. I don't like it, so I don't like it. What the hell do you want me to do? Why don't you like pizza or pasta? They're all foods. It doesn't matter which culture made it. I never denied my Malay heritage, even though I don't eat 'Malay foods'. Heck, I keep boasting that I'm Malay. I am damn proud of it, but how would you know what my thoughts are? We don't talk. You don't know me. You say you do, but you don't.

After all my 20 years of existence, you still don't know what I like and dislike? It goes to show how much we actually take time to communicate with each other. Same goes to your wife, who keeps serving me foods I don't like, more than those I actually like. Speaking of her...

"What do you want to do next? Do you want to marry?" she asked in a kind voice. I almost broke out into a grin to say, "Yes, I want to wait for him," but she cut me off. "I'll find you a nice, rich, non-criminal man for you to marry." She said all this while stroking my head gently, like it's a good thing. How could she? "He's not a criminal," I muttered, as she left.

Swans (Life After Death)

Swans, swans,
Swans sing songs,
All night long,
Who knew how warm the islands were,

While the frogs look on,
It's what the birds prefer,
And it's still warm after the sun has gone,

I woke up thirsty the day I died,
And the tide was swirling,
My mouth is so dry,
And all I see is sea to shining seas,

Swans, swans,
Swans sing songs,
All night long,
Who knew how warm the islands would be,

And who knew just how much,
The sky covers me,
It makes you forget what it means to be free ,

I climbed into the blowhole,
In the ribs I found you,
With a wick, we lit a flame,
Now look at the smoke that it blew,

The mouth is so wide,
Yet all I see is sea,
And azure sky,
A little wave and ebb tide,

Rivers leak,
Salt seeps in,
Heals wounds,
Winds pry apart,

Swans, swans,
Swans sung songs,
Till the morning dawned on us,
And the sun-smudged peach moon still hung loose ,

Bones, bones,
Bones groan,
The sparrows in the trees we leave them for,
They love the marrow,

I'm thankful for my life,
I'm thankful for my life.

- Islands

Conditioned Consumption

Conditioned consumption without question,
So far removed from nature's laws,
It seems we've lost direction,
We indulge ourselves with poisons,
Desecrate ourselves with toxins,
And laugh in the face of death for the sake of convenience,
We reject the essentials, just consume what we like,
Refined processed contaminants which we've been fed all our lives,
Excessive packaging waste prepackaged for land fill,
We pollute our bodies, we destroy the earth,
Contamination of a sacred temple,
We defile ourselves and we wonder why,
We are they way we are the way we are,
Crash course for self destruction,
We remove all traces of nutrients that protect us from disease.

- Mr Zaki,
  Life drawing artist/lecturer