The pain that I've been feeling in my upper abdomen has become more and more frequent. Headaches attack me like crazy. Sometimes, the veins on my neck, left foot and wrist feel knotted, followed by a numb feeling in those areas. I begin to cough now. Also, my body temperature is not becoming constant; I can feel too cold or too warm at random times.
I keep clutching the areas where I felt pain, all in a sudden. My friends looked worried. But I repeated to them over and over again that I was fine. I need to keep my strong image intact. I am not weak. I don't have a weak body, nor mind. I need to show them that I'm still strong, so I smile. I laugh. I secretly cry at times, and that's just rare.
But I think... the truth is, I'm falling apart.
Inside and out?
Tuesday, July 14, 2009
Monday, July 13, 2009
Specialty
I had always been able to know what people around me are feeling most of the time.
I thought that was just normal. I thought, "Eh, anyone could do that." I thought linking smells or feelings or even a whole person himself/herself to colours are just common. I continued to live like that, believing everything I ever did or whatever happened to me was ordinary. I told myself I was plain, so I didn't stand out.
As I grow older and more matured, I, of course, learned many new things. I also discovered pieces of myself and put them together, creating the person I am now. I'm not sure when I will be complete; if I'm allowed to ever be, anyway. I found out that I was special.
I made friends. Good, loyal ones. I made enemies. Nasty, back-stabbing ones. But that's just my life.
This year, I found out that, all this time, I have an aura-sensing ability. Well... Maybe that's not quite accurate... It's more of an ability to see my perception of others. I sense people and their feelings and describe them in colours. That's how I knew what most people feel.
When I was 12, young, naive and alone, I used to call it my 'instincts'. Now I know that it's an actual, special, almost psychic-like ability. I feel like a wild beast from the forest who has learned that she's actually more intellectual than she thought she was. It truly is an amazing discovery.
When I first admitted this to a friend (I've never told anyone before), she somehow managed to prompt me into using this ability. Control it. Another excited friend was so amazed by this ability that I felt encouraged to use it and show it off to people. She looked it up on the Internet and showed to me that such a power exists. It's rarity is 5.4% in 1 out of 2000 people on the planet. It's also hereditary.
So, I do have a special prowess and I'm not the only one.
Now, I can actually use this prowess for my own purposes. I've got to admit, lately, I have been using it, but I still consider myself rarely using it. I usually use it only when my friends tell me to. And even so, I felt.. wrong. Slightly.
I also keep forgetting my own strength and specialty. I still believed that I could always be wrong. I still thought that maybe, there's always someone else who can feel my aura, too. So I was always careful. I still get surprised when I get accurate readings, even though I'm supposed to treat it as a normal thing now that it has happened one too many times. As I said, I keep forgetting my own strength. I keep forgetting the fact that I am special.
Do I need confidence to use this ability? No... I can't. I don't want to be too proud and arrogant for this. The fact of the matter is, I never forgot my roots, which is rather noble of me, I must say. I still remember my 'wild beast' self; when I used to just go with the flow; when I simply felt and knew, nothing less, nothing more. I have never concentrated and focused on a person to see his/her aura like how my friends keep telling me to do now. I used to just feel somewhat subconsciously. I just knew. I didn't have to work my senses out.
Maybe... I kind of missed my carefree, unknowing beastly sense. It was crude and non-evolved, but it was easy.
But then again, there's this new side of me, the 'intellectual and knowing' one, that says I should appreciate this new knowledge of my ability and make full use of it. Yet, I don't want to overdo it and forget my roots, turning completely into a whole new species of beast. No. I want to remember my old self.
I know I'm getting better at it now, and that my sense is getting stronger, evolving more and more by the moment. A proof of this, besides the fact that I keep getting accurate readings, is that sometimes, when there is an emotion too strong and too powerful, I get dizzy. I didn't even have to do anything. I just felt the overpowering emotion and suddenly feel as if my head was spinning. It's amazing. Really, it is.
Returning to my previous thoughts, I feel lost. Torn. But I know I wanted my old style of sensing. My instincts. But should I really abandon this newfound knowledge and pretend I never knew? Should I keep a low-profile, just like before? This is a great opportunity to expand my ability, I know.
I growled in frustration. Wait... I remember now... I get it. I had this one specific dream a few nights ago, and the concept of my thoughts are clearly displayed.
Dreams are also my specialty. I attempt to interpret all my dreams because they always reflect all my inner thoughts. I depend on them to make certain decisions. I also dream of places that I will go to later in my life. So, sometimes, when I go somewhere, I will realise that I've seen the place before, in my dreams. That is why, I try to remember all my dreams when I wake up. I keep the really important ones and those that I thought are or could be meaningful, stored in my mind. Like this one.
In the dream, I was in the form of a lioness-like creature with red tufts of longer fur around my neck (like the mane on a liger), and on my elbows. My shoulder protruded some red, sharp feathers, making it look as if they were small wings. My tail end had those type of feathers too.
The dream started with me and my male partner (same appearance, only more muscular and very masculine-looking, obviously) running joyfully through trees in a forest. Soon, we reached outside the forest. I knew we had gone out too far, so I was about to turn back, but my mate saw something that caught his interest. There were low, grassy hills by a river and some humans were having a picnic on one hill. My mate was curious and wanted to approach them. I told him, in our animalistic language, that it was a bad idea. He wanted to go anyway and persuaded me to come along. I agreed but I was wary. Besides, he said it will only take a while and then we'll return to the forest.
So, we approached the humans, with my partner leading, and surprisingly, the humans seemed to accept our presence. My partner enjoyed it when they stroked him and spoke to him in their own weird language. I, on the other paw, simply sat there, looking at them. I soon reminded my mate to go back home, as promised. I really didn't like seeing him getting too close to them. I had a bad feeling.
He tried to delay and wanted to stay longer but I growled at him. We returned to our clan and reached our cave by night. The next day, he went out to see the humans again. I had a feeling he had been thinking about them all night while I was asleep. He was so excited about them and kept inviting me to come along. I had to follow him; I need to keep an eye on him in case anything bad happens.
He kept visiting the humans whenever he gets the chance. He started to communicate with them. I was scared. More and more, he was starting to become one of them. Speaking their language, sitting the way they do. I think his appearance was changing, too. He was transforming. He had forgotten his origins. He had abandoned the ways of our clan and gave in to the humans' way of life. I gave up.
I returned to the wilderness alone... without him. I had lost my mate... a long time ago, it seems. Since he started speaking to them. I padded to the river's edge and looked back at the hill, where my former partner was laughing with the humans, drinking tea in a cup. I was devastated. I swam through the river and returned to my clan. I told my clanmates what happened and they helped me get over it. So I kept on living my wild life, though in loneliness. Sometimes, even as I hunt, I still think about him, his old self... I missed him. I saw a silhoutte of him beside me, hunting with me, like he used to.
One day, I decided to find a cure for him. I wanted to find a way to get him back. It was only until this part of the dream did I know that I had another form. I transformed into a red and black swan-like creature and flew to the city of the humans. I entered a large library. The walls were dark grey bricks and the windows were stained glass. The sleek, mahogany racks were so high, they reached the ceilings and all kinds of books were stored in it.
I remember transforming back and forth from my swan form to my lioness form to glide or jump to different racks. I knocked some books out of their places, but I didn't care. I didn't know what I was doing, looking through books that I didn't even understand. But I needed a sign.
Unexpectedly, a dashing-looking human with red hair, dressed in neat clothes came in. He looked up and saw me. He immediately picked up some books and threw them at me, shouting at the same time. I turned into my swan form and hastily avoided the hard-covered books. I squawked in protest... until I suddenly realised that the angry man down there on the ground, was my former mate.
I was surprised. I didn't even recognise him. His looks, his scent, his mind... They have changed. He was different. Too different.
"Oh, my mate... Whatever has happened to you?" I spoke in my own language.
But he didn't understand me anymore. I didn't even think he remembered and recognised me then. The truth struck me like thunder. He kept on shouting at me in a ferocious tone and throwing things at me. I was so hurt... I realised that I couldn't communicate with him anymore. I needed to leave. I saw a single high, round, paned window. I flew at high speed and crashed through the glass unharmed. I turned my long neck to look behind, flapping my large red wings.
My former mate got on some sort of vehicle and was giving chase to me.
"Why is he doing this?" I thought to myself in panic.
I picked up speed, flying as fast as I could, but he managed to tail me anyway. I reached the river. I swooped down and folded my wings. I swam quickly through the water. I peeked behind and saw that his vehicle could run on water, too. In my swan form, I can swim as fast as a speed boat. But he had a speed boat, so he was able to follow, as well. I was so fearful. I really didn't know what I was doing.
I saw home. The rest of the tribe were relaxing; I saw from afar. They perked up when they saw me in fear. It was also because they noticed that a human was chasing me. They got scared too. No human has ever reached our home.
"What have I done? I led him to our clan... This is the end..."
I flapped my wings and stumbled of the water. I hit the ground on my face. He got out of his vehicle and took out a long, sharp weapon. Like a harpoon. He approached me and my clanmates slowly, with an evil smirk on his new face. We all froze in our positions. There was no chance of escape.
"I'm sorry, everyone... My mate and I have let you down..."
I don't know what happened next. The dream ended there. But I do know that.. when I woke up with a start... I was crying... I had tears falling out of my eyes... The dream.. was so deep.. So sad... I wiped away my tears, sniffed and lied my head back on the pillow. I closed my eyes and thought about this.
I thought that was just normal. I thought, "Eh, anyone could do that." I thought linking smells or feelings or even a whole person himself/herself to colours are just common. I continued to live like that, believing everything I ever did or whatever happened to me was ordinary. I told myself I was plain, so I didn't stand out.
As I grow older and more matured, I, of course, learned many new things. I also discovered pieces of myself and put them together, creating the person I am now. I'm not sure when I will be complete; if I'm allowed to ever be, anyway. I found out that I was special.
I made friends. Good, loyal ones. I made enemies. Nasty, back-stabbing ones. But that's just my life.
This year, I found out that, all this time, I have an aura-sensing ability. Well... Maybe that's not quite accurate... It's more of an ability to see my perception of others. I sense people and their feelings and describe them in colours. That's how I knew what most people feel.
When I was 12, young, naive and alone, I used to call it my 'instincts'. Now I know that it's an actual, special, almost psychic-like ability. I feel like a wild beast from the forest who has learned that she's actually more intellectual than she thought she was. It truly is an amazing discovery.
When I first admitted this to a friend (I've never told anyone before), she somehow managed to prompt me into using this ability. Control it. Another excited friend was so amazed by this ability that I felt encouraged to use it and show it off to people. She looked it up on the Internet and showed to me that such a power exists. It's rarity is 5.4% in 1 out of 2000 people on the planet. It's also hereditary.
So, I do have a special prowess and I'm not the only one.
Now, I can actually use this prowess for my own purposes. I've got to admit, lately, I have been using it, but I still consider myself rarely using it. I usually use it only when my friends tell me to. And even so, I felt.. wrong. Slightly.
I also keep forgetting my own strength and specialty. I still believed that I could always be wrong. I still thought that maybe, there's always someone else who can feel my aura, too. So I was always careful. I still get surprised when I get accurate readings, even though I'm supposed to treat it as a normal thing now that it has happened one too many times. As I said, I keep forgetting my own strength. I keep forgetting the fact that I am special.
Do I need confidence to use this ability? No... I can't. I don't want to be too proud and arrogant for this. The fact of the matter is, I never forgot my roots, which is rather noble of me, I must say. I still remember my 'wild beast' self; when I used to just go with the flow; when I simply felt and knew, nothing less, nothing more. I have never concentrated and focused on a person to see his/her aura like how my friends keep telling me to do now. I used to just feel somewhat subconsciously. I just knew. I didn't have to work my senses out.
Maybe... I kind of missed my carefree, unknowing beastly sense. It was crude and non-evolved, but it was easy.
But then again, there's this new side of me, the 'intellectual and knowing' one, that says I should appreciate this new knowledge of my ability and make full use of it. Yet, I don't want to overdo it and forget my roots, turning completely into a whole new species of beast. No. I want to remember my old self.
I know I'm getting better at it now, and that my sense is getting stronger, evolving more and more by the moment. A proof of this, besides the fact that I keep getting accurate readings, is that sometimes, when there is an emotion too strong and too powerful, I get dizzy. I didn't even have to do anything. I just felt the overpowering emotion and suddenly feel as if my head was spinning. It's amazing. Really, it is.
Returning to my previous thoughts, I feel lost. Torn. But I know I wanted my old style of sensing. My instincts. But should I really abandon this newfound knowledge and pretend I never knew? Should I keep a low-profile, just like before? This is a great opportunity to expand my ability, I know.
I growled in frustration. Wait... I remember now... I get it. I had this one specific dream a few nights ago, and the concept of my thoughts are clearly displayed.
Dreams are also my specialty. I attempt to interpret all my dreams because they always reflect all my inner thoughts. I depend on them to make certain decisions. I also dream of places that I will go to later in my life. So, sometimes, when I go somewhere, I will realise that I've seen the place before, in my dreams. That is why, I try to remember all my dreams when I wake up. I keep the really important ones and those that I thought are or could be meaningful, stored in my mind. Like this one.
In the dream, I was in the form of a lioness-like creature with red tufts of longer fur around my neck (like the mane on a liger), and on my elbows. My shoulder protruded some red, sharp feathers, making it look as if they were small wings. My tail end had those type of feathers too.
The dream started with me and my male partner (same appearance, only more muscular and very masculine-looking, obviously) running joyfully through trees in a forest. Soon, we reached outside the forest. I knew we had gone out too far, so I was about to turn back, but my mate saw something that caught his interest. There were low, grassy hills by a river and some humans were having a picnic on one hill. My mate was curious and wanted to approach them. I told him, in our animalistic language, that it was a bad idea. He wanted to go anyway and persuaded me to come along. I agreed but I was wary. Besides, he said it will only take a while and then we'll return to the forest.
So, we approached the humans, with my partner leading, and surprisingly, the humans seemed to accept our presence. My partner enjoyed it when they stroked him and spoke to him in their own weird language. I, on the other paw, simply sat there, looking at them. I soon reminded my mate to go back home, as promised. I really didn't like seeing him getting too close to them. I had a bad feeling.
He tried to delay and wanted to stay longer but I growled at him. We returned to our clan and reached our cave by night. The next day, he went out to see the humans again. I had a feeling he had been thinking about them all night while I was asleep. He was so excited about them and kept inviting me to come along. I had to follow him; I need to keep an eye on him in case anything bad happens.
He kept visiting the humans whenever he gets the chance. He started to communicate with them. I was scared. More and more, he was starting to become one of them. Speaking their language, sitting the way they do. I think his appearance was changing, too. He was transforming. He had forgotten his origins. He had abandoned the ways of our clan and gave in to the humans' way of life. I gave up.
I returned to the wilderness alone... without him. I had lost my mate... a long time ago, it seems. Since he started speaking to them. I padded to the river's edge and looked back at the hill, where my former partner was laughing with the humans, drinking tea in a cup. I was devastated. I swam through the river and returned to my clan. I told my clanmates what happened and they helped me get over it. So I kept on living my wild life, though in loneliness. Sometimes, even as I hunt, I still think about him, his old self... I missed him. I saw a silhoutte of him beside me, hunting with me, like he used to.
One day, I decided to find a cure for him. I wanted to find a way to get him back. It was only until this part of the dream did I know that I had another form. I transformed into a red and black swan-like creature and flew to the city of the humans. I entered a large library. The walls were dark grey bricks and the windows were stained glass. The sleek, mahogany racks were so high, they reached the ceilings and all kinds of books were stored in it.
I remember transforming back and forth from my swan form to my lioness form to glide or jump to different racks. I knocked some books out of their places, but I didn't care. I didn't know what I was doing, looking through books that I didn't even understand. But I needed a sign.
Unexpectedly, a dashing-looking human with red hair, dressed in neat clothes came in. He looked up and saw me. He immediately picked up some books and threw them at me, shouting at the same time. I turned into my swan form and hastily avoided the hard-covered books. I squawked in protest... until I suddenly realised that the angry man down there on the ground, was my former mate.
I was surprised. I didn't even recognise him. His looks, his scent, his mind... They have changed. He was different. Too different.
"Oh, my mate... Whatever has happened to you?" I spoke in my own language.
But he didn't understand me anymore. I didn't even think he remembered and recognised me then. The truth struck me like thunder. He kept on shouting at me in a ferocious tone and throwing things at me. I was so hurt... I realised that I couldn't communicate with him anymore. I needed to leave. I saw a single high, round, paned window. I flew at high speed and crashed through the glass unharmed. I turned my long neck to look behind, flapping my large red wings.
My former mate got on some sort of vehicle and was giving chase to me.
"Why is he doing this?" I thought to myself in panic.
I picked up speed, flying as fast as I could, but he managed to tail me anyway. I reached the river. I swooped down and folded my wings. I swam quickly through the water. I peeked behind and saw that his vehicle could run on water, too. In my swan form, I can swim as fast as a speed boat. But he had a speed boat, so he was able to follow, as well. I was so fearful. I really didn't know what I was doing.
I saw home. The rest of the tribe were relaxing; I saw from afar. They perked up when they saw me in fear. It was also because they noticed that a human was chasing me. They got scared too. No human has ever reached our home.
"What have I done? I led him to our clan... This is the end..."
I flapped my wings and stumbled of the water. I hit the ground on my face. He got out of his vehicle and took out a long, sharp weapon. Like a harpoon. He approached me and my clanmates slowly, with an evil smirk on his new face. We all froze in our positions. There was no chance of escape.
"I'm sorry, everyone... My mate and I have let you down..."
I don't know what happened next. The dream ended there. But I do know that.. when I woke up with a start... I was crying... I had tears falling out of my eyes... The dream.. was so deep.. So sad... I wiped away my tears, sniffed and lied my head back on the pillow. I closed my eyes and thought about this.
Sunday, July 12, 2009
Poison
I'm being surrounded by emotions. Strong ones, at that, too. It gets to me sometimes and I allowed myself to succumb in those emotions because sometimes, it feels good to feel loose and let some things out.. or in.
I spring right back up soon, though. I tightened back all the openings I've let open before, and return to being my strong, hardy self. I smile, I laugh, I have fun.
Like my friend said, while I was being my happy self, "It's like you're over him but you're not."
That's right. See? I'm not letting that fact bring me down too much. I have strength. Maybe even more than I ever knew. I told you I can live with it. It's not like a poison at all, as everyone might think it would be. I drank up all the poison before it manages to reach everyone else; my friends. I want to save you all.
Ah, that's right... He wants make me his good friend.
Everyone knows how that makes me feel. But oh well, I'll handle it. At least I'm moving. I want to make this friendship work too, you know.
I spring right back up soon, though. I tightened back all the openings I've let open before, and return to being my strong, hardy self. I smile, I laugh, I have fun.
Like my friend said, while I was being my happy self, "It's like you're over him but you're not."
That's right. See? I'm not letting that fact bring me down too much. I have strength. Maybe even more than I ever knew. I told you I can live with it. It's not like a poison at all, as everyone might think it would be. I drank up all the poison before it manages to reach everyone else; my friends. I want to save you all.
Ah, that's right... He wants make me his good friend.
Everyone knows how that makes me feel. But oh well, I'll handle it. At least I'm moving. I want to make this friendship work too, you know.
Thursday, July 09, 2009
I do have strength!
Today was supposed to be a bad day.
But I acted as though it was a good day. Why did I do that? I don't know. I was living through. Breaking through all hardship now. Right. I remember. Didn't think I would turn out this way. I'm in.. denial? Oh wow.
I really didn't care about what happened to me today. Bad luck followed me everywhere, I swear. I should've looked so pathetic and emotional and all but... I didn't. I was smiling. I didn't feel so bad at all.
I chuckled. I guess I didn't know my own strength, huh?
Heh. I can do this. I can live on.
But I acted as though it was a good day. Why did I do that? I don't know. I was living through. Breaking through all hardship now. Right. I remember. Didn't think I would turn out this way. I'm in.. denial? Oh wow.
I really didn't care about what happened to me today. Bad luck followed me everywhere, I swear. I should've looked so pathetic and emotional and all but... I didn't. I was smiling. I didn't feel so bad at all.
I chuckled. I guess I didn't know my own strength, huh?
Heh. I can do this. I can live on.
Wednesday, July 08, 2009
0 + 1 + 2 = 3
I admit. I have a lot of guy friends. And I like them all! But not necessarily in a romantic way. I could really like a guy a whole lot, and still not love him.
Because I don't choose to love anyone. It just happens.
And I've fallen in love.. twice.
The first one didn't go so smoothly. It was always hard to read his aura, as it keeps changing and shifting. I was never sure how much he ever 'liked' me at all. I remember chasing after him blindly, stupidly. But he never really showed signs of reply in public, ever. It was a cute, stupid thing. I laughed at myself. Somehow, one day, as I was walking with a friend, it just snapped off. The feelings... just disappeared. Just like that. I felt it, right at that moment. Gone. I was so happy! I hugged my friend. I was free from the useless feelings! The love spell broke!
I was doing just fine after that time. I felt relieved. I kept on living and laughing with my friends in front of him, showing that I can live without him anyway.
And then...
During the holidays, where I was carefree and joyful, I started to get to know him. We got along so well, I was surprised myself. He was wonderful. Still rather new to the whole thing, I was surpised -again- to see that we faced a bump in our relationship for a moment. I was devastated. But he returned, with promises, giving me high hopes, putting me at peace. Until it happened again. But this time... I don't know where it will take me. I'll wait to see. I want to see.
Yet...
I feel attracted to one of his friends. He was nice to me. He had a sensitive, gentle soul. And then there's him. I saw his red aura immediately and felt attracted somehow.
In the end...
I wonder who will I lose?
Because I don't choose to love anyone. It just happens.
And I've fallen in love.. twice.
The first one didn't go so smoothly. It was always hard to read his aura, as it keeps changing and shifting. I was never sure how much he ever 'liked' me at all. I remember chasing after him blindly, stupidly. But he never really showed signs of reply in public, ever. It was a cute, stupid thing. I laughed at myself. Somehow, one day, as I was walking with a friend, it just snapped off. The feelings... just disappeared. Just like that. I felt it, right at that moment. Gone. I was so happy! I hugged my friend. I was free from the useless feelings! The love spell broke!
I was doing just fine after that time. I felt relieved. I kept on living and laughing with my friends in front of him, showing that I can live without him anyway.
And then...
During the holidays, where I was carefree and joyful, I started to get to know him. We got along so well, I was surprised myself. He was wonderful. Still rather new to the whole thing, I was surpised -again- to see that we faced a bump in our relationship for a moment. I was devastated. But he returned, with promises, giving me high hopes, putting me at peace. Until it happened again. But this time... I don't know where it will take me. I'll wait to see. I want to see.
Yet...
I feel attracted to one of his friends. He was nice to me. He had a sensitive, gentle soul. And then there's him. I saw his red aura immediately and felt attracted somehow.
In the end...
I wonder who will I lose?
Sam... I know...
Sam approached me this morning. He sat next to me during the morning assembly. I felt his aura; it seemed as if he had something to tell me. But Lia came and beside him too, breaking off his intentions. She left soon afterwards, but I could sense that he was searching the courage to say the things he wanted to say again.
"Never mind," I thought. "I'll let him say it when he wants to. He needs time, I know."
We walked back to class in silence, though I tried to break it by asking him some stupid questions. As usual.
He tried to talk again, but there were too many people around. Only when everyone had left for P.E., when we were alone in class together, did he manage to talk.
And guess what he talked about?
His love. The person he's in love with. And how he can't stop thinking about that person. How he's jealous of the fact that this person has found a possible someone else. And how he's angry at the fact that the person doesn't know about his love...
I listened intently and felt pitiful for him. He turned to me and asked me, "How do I make this feeling stop?"
I leaned my back on my chair, looking up at the ceiling and sighed.
"You're asking the wrong person, Sam..." I whispered. "Even I don't know how to stop mine, too..."
He heard me. He stared off into blankness, like me. He told me that whenever he hears David Archuleta's songs, he remembers that person. As for me, almost everything and anything at all reminds me of him! My mind is too smart for my own good, as it seems to relate every small things all the way back to him.
I feel you, Sam. I know exactly what you mean. There's nothing else for us to do but wait and wait in silence, letting everything happen, even as we hold on to the feelings, because things just happen.
"Never mind," I thought. "I'll let him say it when he wants to. He needs time, I know."
We walked back to class in silence, though I tried to break it by asking him some stupid questions. As usual.
He tried to talk again, but there were too many people around. Only when everyone had left for P.E., when we were alone in class together, did he manage to talk.
And guess what he talked about?
His love. The person he's in love with. And how he can't stop thinking about that person. How he's jealous of the fact that this person has found a possible someone else. And how he's angry at the fact that the person doesn't know about his love...
I listened intently and felt pitiful for him. He turned to me and asked me, "How do I make this feeling stop?"
I leaned my back on my chair, looking up at the ceiling and sighed.
"You're asking the wrong person, Sam..." I whispered. "Even I don't know how to stop mine, too..."
He heard me. He stared off into blankness, like me. He told me that whenever he hears David Archuleta's songs, he remembers that person. As for me, almost everything and anything at all reminds me of him! My mind is too smart for my own good, as it seems to relate every small things all the way back to him.
I feel you, Sam. I know exactly what you mean. There's nothing else for us to do but wait and wait in silence, letting everything happen, even as we hold on to the feelings, because things just happen.
Tuesday, July 07, 2009
Red
I don't know why. I haven't seen him in a couple of years and to tell you the truth, back then, I didn't even know him that well at all! I only knew him. He was just a person. One of those typical Malay bad boys. We weren't close enough to become friends. Never. Ever.
And yet...
The very moment I saw him again, on that particular Sunday, I immediately saw his aura.
Red. Like me.
That totally caught me by surprise. Big surprise.
We shook hands. Red aura flowed through our hands and mixed for a bit there. So visible. So solid. It was right there, in my sense.
Why?
We talked and actually got along pretty well. We planned to go to Limkokwing University of Creative Technology together. That will be an amazing experience. I want him there. I really do. I look forward to it. It's going to be fun and exciting.
I texted him. He replied. I was so glad he replied. We could become friends.
Real friends.
And yet...
The very moment I saw him again, on that particular Sunday, I immediately saw his aura.
Red. Like me.
That totally caught me by surprise. Big surprise.
We shook hands. Red aura flowed through our hands and mixed for a bit there. So visible. So solid. It was right there, in my sense.
Why?
We talked and actually got along pretty well. We planned to go to Limkokwing University of Creative Technology together. That will be an amazing experience. I want him there. I really do. I look forward to it. It's going to be fun and exciting.
I texted him. He replied. I was so glad he replied. We could become friends.
Real friends.
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