First I'm pretending. And then I feel like letting all these blasted feelings flood out. Next I'll be cursing and attempting to inflict pain on myself somehow. But I'll put on a fake smile again. Though my cheeks are wet with tears.
I'm confusing myself. I'm confusing him. I'm just simply confusing everyone.
Sometimes I wondered if I could switch these feelings off. Like turning off the lights. Allow myself to be enveloped in darkness always. But I can't seem to do so. It's so hard to cover my eyes from the beautiful sight that is him. Such a powerful attraction force. Dammit.
I don't know if I should act aloof and carefree... Because I know. And I do care.
If I act forceful and determined, I might as well just come off as desperate in his eyes. I don't want to be mistaken as that.
I love him. I just do.
So what the bloody fuck is wrong with you, Asuka?!
You tell me.
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