Miss Murder

I'm so used to not letting my real words and feelings be heard, that it's become a habit. This habit has gotten me in so much unnecessary problems throughout my life. Oftentimes, after I said what I said, I realized afterwards that I could've said something different; the thought that's already been inside my head, but I ignored it somehow. I'm so stupid, I didn't even hear that one thought that needed to be let out.

It's like... when I'm too choked up on anger or depression, or even simply just desperation, it gets so loud in my head that it blocks out the rest of whatever. And then my stupidity makes me even angrier, that I begin to think of death. Usually the death of the one who pisses me off. These thoughts might grow on me and stick on me, that it might just happen. I've secretly been keeping hold of a weapon in my room in relevance to that thought. I might just, one day, use it... It's so tempting.

I wish Felina would step back a little more now that my plan has come into action. She's getting more and more impulsive and uncontrollable. Takaze's not strong enough to hold her back, at times. I can't blame him, though... she can be quite unpredictable when she steps in. Takaze, you're almost always too late to stop her...

Sometimes, all the things I do to get a result of the old people screaming at me, they were all just an accident. A slip of the tongue. And my goddamn ego is just way too huge to let me apologize. They never knew how I feel, because I never tell them, but I hope for them to get a fucking clue. That's why I write these things here. Maybe they'll see it one day. When it's too late, perhaps. Or maybe not. Oh, every day spent with them not knowing only makes me believe they do not care enough. Don't tell me they house me, feed me, and all that, that's all physical shit. I'm talking about mentally, here.

Heck, I might be a clinically-proven psycho, and they won't even know it.

Lonely Lady

Still single? Can't find the right guy? Always ending up with some sort of loser one way or another?


Of course. That's miserable, pathetic, lame 'ol me.


I'll never end up with the one I love, so it seems. My future love life seems obviously bleak.


Oh, don't worry. I won't end up as a crazy cat lady. 


Just a crazy hedgehog lady.

Just you and me, Gypsy.