Understanding

A speech by some random fat guy at school.

That was all that was needed to keep these shallow-minded idiots at my school thinkin'.

And apparently, it sparked a little argument... no, well, a conflict, between me and two of my best friends.

I realised that they thought of me as some mindless, spoilt rich brat that has fun for nothing.

They wanted to work for a living, and earn money, to survive in their future. They.. somewhat mocked me, by pointing out the fact that my parents have a lot of money so that I don't have to work after high school, while they, the lower classmen, have to suffer and work hard.

"What are you going to do after school finishes?" Natsuki asked.

Before I could answer, Mira said in a mocking voice, "Playing games... Doing artworks..."

I was taken aback by the mockery in her voice. How could she? Sure, I said that before, but why treat me like that? It's not like I'm going to waste my time completely. I realise that I have a future too. My type of future is just different from theirs.

I'm going to take up musical lessons again, in case I can become a part-time singer. Playing games and doing artworks are activities that inspire me. If I'm going to be an animator, don't I freakin' need inspiration and creativity? And If I could, I'd like to go travelling.

"Oh, right, travelling... Yeah... That's not work that gives you money," Mira added. "People like us need to work for money."

Travelling gives me inspiration too. We are young and are going to be free after high school. We have to enjoy and loosen up sometimes too. They were talking as if they were already bounded by responsibilities towards their own families already. Like, married. They're not.

I'm not...

They should just continue their studies in a college or university, not work in some crappy factory like they were thinking of doing. At least, get a respectable part-time job at a small clinic or a mall or something. Factory-workers are not my best friends' standards. They are smart and brilliant, not to be made slaves.

I know I'm not that good in school. But I do have thoughts in my mind. I do think. I know I'm smart, in a way. Not a book-smart, definitely, but smart, I am. They mark me as carefree, but I care about them.

Have they forgotten who taught them to use English more widely? Have they forgotten who constantly reminded them about the importance of becoming more eco-friendly? Have they forgotten who their best friend was?

I love them. But I cannot stand by the sidelines as they criticise me like that. I will not tolerate it. So I fought back.

Fortunately, thanks to my common sense, I fought back only distinctively. I need not cause a big argument between us out of this. As if we haven't enough problems already... Sigh. I know Natsuki will start fighting with Ashraf anytime again soon, and Mira could break down emotionally anytime soon, too.

So, I just made my point and backed off.

They have not understood me. But then again, it could be me who doesn't understand them.

Good friend

Hey, I realised something today.

I had fun.

Today, I came to school late, and with a sour mood, due to the dispute I had with my father last night and this morning. He really pissed me off. I entered class and saw Mira, but I didn't feel like talking to her, so it was cold silence between us. She later went off to the assembly with the rest of the kids, leaving me and Sam behind because we wanted to be left behind.

We talked. I was really glad that he wanted to turn to me to talk about these things. It made me feel so appreciated, unlike most people have succeeded to do. Then, we decided that we should go to the assembly anyway, since the other Fifth Formers were told to stay there. On the way there, Sam said that the guys are coming in already, so we turned back, but there, we had to face a really creepy pink monster, forcing us to turn back again. We bumped into Zaid from Gamma, who told us that the teachers at the assembly are threatening to cut the guys' long hair. I warned him about the pink monster and suggested that he and Sam hide at my old workplace while I attend the assembly. Gratefully, the two boys hid.

Before going to my girlfriends at the back, I stopped to talk to Joel and Irfan for a bit. While I was walking to my girls, I noticed that he was there. I purposely looked down and averted my eyes, but I could feel that he was looking at me. Oh well, I didn't let him bother me and went to my friends.

Back at class, the scary pink monster strikes again, putting Mira under serious stress. Not only that, a male monster then barged in and starts attacking all of us, one by one (but not me, fortunately), stressing Mira out even more. Poor girl. Well, all I could offer was my listening ear. I don't want to annoy her by giving out stupid advices or anything, because I know those would surely annoy me if I was in her shoes. I let her hang out with Ashraf and Natsuki during Biology, while I sulk momentarily since the male monster attack. I was also feeling down because of the whales from last night.

The recess bell rang and I automatically took out my breakfast; cream and apple bread, while Sam immediately turned behind to eat with me. As I was eating in a hypnotical manner, Sam's little sister came and sat next to me, making some jokes. I started to feel better and was even better when Sam invited me to go to the cafeteria with him. We walked through the field and saw Natsuki sitting at the grandstand alone. Sam bumped my arm with his, encouraging me to go and talk to her.

I went to her and asked her, "What's up?". She noticed my bad mood in class earlier and wanted to know what caused it. I was reluctant to tell her at first, but when I was about to say it, Ashraf came along with food for his girlfriend. I cancelled my intentions and quickly said goodbye to her.

Coincidentally, I saw Joel, but I could see that he was busy with his companions, so I simply said hi. I searched for Sam and stayed with him. We walked back to class together too. English offered two free periods for us, so we spent the time hanging out together.

Ekin and Mira were talking and making some jokes that we failed to understand. But Sam and I were also talking and making jokes that they couldn't quite figure out. The whole situation ended up looking pretty hilarious. We played a silly game with my water bottle and once we ran out of topics to talk about, we simply rested our heads on our arms and stared at each other in the face, speaking quietly.

Out of the blue, he came to our class. Sam, being the mischievous boy he is, decided to try to tease him and make him jealous. He edged closer to me and I playfully ruffled his hair. We speculated that he might have seen how close we were and retreated back to his own class. Immediately after he was out of sight, we burst out laughing.

Haha, really, I enjoyed hanging out with Sam today. I felt very comfortable around him and he was.. no, is a very good friend indeed.

Whale Wars

Whale Wars. Discovery Channel.

The series caught my interest and kept me very fascinated. It is full of emotions. It managed to make me feel touched. The first time I watched it, I was in awe. I immediately felt as if I could join them. I knew I would, if given the chance. I would strongly join them and give my all to saving the big, beautiful whales.

I'm very proud of the Sea Shepherds; the brave, valiant group of people dedicated to saving whales.

Volunteers have come from all over the world and boarded the ship dubbed the Steve Irwin in memory of the late Crocodile Hunter. Most of them are greenhorns and have not fully understood what they had to do. But along the way, out on the harsh sea, they saw the lovely whales and are reminded of their objective.

These people are willing to sacrifice their time, energy, freedom and even life for the sake of the whales. They are, to me, quite noble. I admire them.

The show kept me on my toes and I admit, I almost cried. The tense feeling was agonising and I was hoping so hard the Sea Shepherds would have things going their way.

And then my father came along and criticised them, saying that they were the rude ones, instead of the cruel Japanese whalers. He stubbornly mentioned that the Sea Shepherds should have let the higher authorities do the job and not take matters into their own hands.

Doesn't he understand that if they don't do something, the government won't take notice?! Because the government is NOT taking notice! They're NOT doing anything! That's why the Sea Shepherds are on the Steve Irwin out on the sea!

No, I don't like it when he starts to go overboard like this. I, as a great animal lover, am very sensitive to those stupid thoughts of his. I fought with him over this matter, yes.

I know I can't talk of this problem with any of my friends at school tomorrow, because they won't understand my deep love for animals. They'll probably laugh at me and tell me, "Sheesh, Athira, it's only a small matter..."

IT'S NOT A SMALL MATTER!

This concerns the poor, helpless whales in the ocean. Some bloody stupid humans are bloody killing them without sympathy! Can't they think rationally and think ahead? What of the future? What will the future generations look at anymore, if the whales are completely wiped out?

I don't want to tell my children or grandchildren that they can't find live whales on the planet anymore, because they are extinct. No, I want them to see live whales someday.

So, please... support the Sea Shepherds. Save the whales... please...

I'm okay

It figures.

All those words that he used... pricked me just like miniature thorns that are totally harmless, even when in bulk.

I guess I could never actually say I'm completely done for when it comes to this.

But hey, it's receding.

She was right. I don't need him. Just yet. I'm still living, aren't I? I can live without them, too.

I'm okay.

Animals

I can tell you this; I'm obsessed with animals.

I remember rescuing a little bee. I helped him gain balance and fly again. It kind of made me feel strange seeing it off in the air again. I didn't like insects. I almost killed him to put him out of his misery. I'm glad I didn't. I tried and tried to help him until he eventually flew. How touching.

I was petting a kind cat when she suddenly bounded away from me as I tried to pick her up. I felt a gentle bump on my hip. I turned around to see a brown puppy. So he scared the cat away. I thought it was me. Haha. Once the puppy realised he couldn't reach the cat, who had escaped to a nearby drain, he came towards me and started jumping on me, wanting to play.

I have always liked doing word puzzles, especially when it comes to a topic that I am passionate about, such as music, colours and animals. My best friend borrowed my puzzle book and finished one topic without me knowing. Of all the topics she had to finish, it just had to be one that depicted wild animals. My favourite. I had been saving it for an especially calming day, where I could quickly complete it in peace, alone.
But she finished it. It made me feel... yes, disappointed. Maybe a little frustrated too. Tears even appeared, out of the feeling of 'injustice'. I didn't feel it was fair for her to complete the one topic that I had loved so much. I was not satisfied. I erased all her answers without really looking at it and allowed myself to calm down before finishing it myself. Only then did I feel satisfied. Just a little. I wanted to blame her but I knew I couldn't. I don't like making a big deal out of petty things. I released my tension alone and decided not to make a big deal out of it, after all.

I'm obsessed.

I want my very own pet...