Bicycles

Seriously.

I've been having too many dreams concerning me on a bicycle, and falling off it quite frequently. This is unacceptable to me, because I believe I have conquered my fear of falling off a bicycle a long time ago! I remember training myself to cycle in an '8' pattern in the backyard just to work on my turns so I wouldn't fall down. I did fall several times, but I managed to master it at last, and it was not a kiddie bicycle! In fact, only the tips of my toes reach the ground when I stopped, so yes, I was proud of that achievement.

Then, as a teenager, I made cycling part of my daily routine. I started out going out alone, rounding the neighbourhood to exercise and get skinnier (which actually worked; I am now average-sized rather than chubby). Then, I began to cover more distance in a day, and I always passed by in front of my ex-lover's house, hoping he would be on the balcony, looking out for me, every single time. Obviously, that never happened, although I would -very- occasionally bump into him on the streets, either back from tuition classes or dance practices. He's pretty much into his breakdancing, so I hear.

Ahem, anyway.

Eventually, I met my two boys from the 'hood, Shanthen and Caezun. We cycled together around the neighbourhood a lot and hung out at the park. From there I made acquaintances with more of the boys at the park; the soccer players and some of the punks...

...Isk, dammit, I always get off-topic.

Getting back to the main point, I love cycling. It apparently played a big role in my life, and now, I'm getting nightmares of myself falling off bicycles, and when I'm not falling, I'm always anxious about falling down. What does this mean?

Well, I went to research on its meanings and it turns out it was because of my desires of regaining balance in my life. It's true... I've been too hectic, and too intent on trying to make things right, but at the same time worrying about it. What if my actions fail? What if I can't? What if... what if... That's why I've been falling off my bicycle. I need to get back on track, but I've forgotten how. I wish there was a solution to this, though...

I have a feeling there will be more of me falling off bicycles in my sleep later on...