Chasing A Bear

I saw him this morning, with his namesake friend. He was carrying something large over his shoulder, encased in an art bag, I think. He was also carrying his usual brown bag with him. He was dressed so nice; it made him look really dashing.

...I don't know why I'm crying now, just after I wrote that. Bay of Pigs by Destroyer is currently playing. The tune struck something within me. And I'm thinking now... about how I am falling for him. How he looks cuter and more handsome every day. I wish I could swoon over him and let him know that. I want to let him know how good he looks, blushing at the same time. I want to hug him and breathe in the scent of his body. I'm crying over all these inner feelings.

He glanced sideways, just by a little bit, to catch my eye. I pretended to look surprised then, and expected him to say something. But instead, he turned back to look in front of him as he kept on walking quickly. I almost called out to him, but then Aery called me instead. She was eating a muffin as she greeted me and asked me where I was going.

I stuttered for a bit, worrying about losing him, before replying, "To the convenience store, to buy breakfast."

She said she was going to class, so we said goodbye and parted. I looked for him and briefly saw him going in the direction of the car park, instead of going in the first bus. It's either he was getting a ride on a friend's car, or taking a cab, or the second bus. I went inside the store before I could see where he disappeared to. Maybe he took the first bus? I... I regretted not talking to him.

I miss him. It feels like we haven't talked with or seen each other in a long time. Why did he have to do that? He's always like that whenever I see him outside. Just one bland look is all I get. No smile, not even a simple hi. Contrary to how it was before, back when I was a freshman. At least he talked to me when he saw me at campus.

But of course, that time, he was the one chasing me. I guess I'm doing all the chasing now...