Castle in the Air

I escaped to my personal refugee that situates atop my own house. I climbed up the rooftop without much regard for anything else. I could almost feel the sad frustration spilling out with each clasp on the individual roof shingles, as if I could leave the feeling there and never see them ever again. A piece of loose cement stone rolled off downwards, and I could hear my heart wishing to fall down along with it. I sighed and leaned my head back on the rough surface, facing up towards the blue-black sky. I could see the night lights drowning out most of the twinkling stars, but all these lights were just blurry auras of white and orange to me. It could be the lack of my correction glasses causing it, but perhaps they were amplified due to the welling tears in my eyes.

How I desperately wished he was lying there, next to me, with our hands clasped together and fingers intertwined. I always had thought of taking him up to the roof when he ever does visit. We would scour the small town of Bukit Sentosa from above and I would point out what we could see from up there. He would listen to my endless babbles and stare at my face as I talked, with a dreamy look on his. Then, I would take him on a stroll around the neighbourhood, where I grew up, and tell him all the silly little memories I have in this lane and that. And if we bump into anyone I know, I would proudly introduce him as my eternal lover, and they would wish us well.

But oh, alas! I could only ever dream up these thoughts in my head for now. Every day and night I think about him, and wonder what runs through his mind. Is it me? What kind of thoughts are they? As he works ever-so responsibly, does he dream about meeting me at the end of the day, as well? I am unsatisfied having these questions unanswered, but I suppose... I would have to make do.

Even if that means sobbing about it.