Unstable

Maybe that's what I'd call myself.

I am unstable.

My physical condition... I'm not too sure about that, but I do experience certain short muscle spasms around random parts of my body occasionally. I have to say I rarely get ill, but once I fall into the cruel hands of a sickness, it hits me like ever-blazing wildfire.

I become unstable.

It has always been this way. I remember when I was only 7 or 8, I was lying down on a mattress, covered in thick blankets, in my parents' air-conditioned room. My whole body shook with high fever. I closed my eyes and saw an endless void of darkness. But that was not all I saw. I saw other dark colours, like green and red, swirling and slithering in the midst of that blackness. I shut my eyes tighter and the colours seem to not go away, but they turn stronger instead.

As I reaccounted this memory right here, right now, as I write this piece, I realise now that those were my colours. The colours of my 'aura'. I knew I had this ability before, but I didn't expect it would date all the way back then. I guess I was born with it, anyway.

Moving on, I sensed that during the fever, my body couldn't control itself and my mind was a complicated, messy array of thoughts.

Wait... I am being distracted. A sudden headache attacked my temples. I blinked it away, and it's gone. That was very peculiar. I haven't had a headache in a while.

As I was saying, I couldn't think straight. It was as if those colours blinded me in a way. I thrashed about uncontrollably and threw my blankets off everywhere. I rolled down onto my stomach and onto the cold, smooth floor. I remember having a hard time breathing.

I knew what it was like to be unstable. I am, a living example, of an unstable creature; mind and body. Now that I am a teenager, with growing, raging hormones, this unstability has affected my emotions. Just like my friends have noticed, my mood swings from one to another in just a blink of an eye. You can take one look at me and tell me that I'm happy. Take another look and say I'm angry.

It shows how unstable I am.

I can break down into tears out of the blue, I suppose. It has happened before, but usually out of the public view of people. I can stop dead in my tracks and give out a big, hearty laugh in the middle of nowhere. I can snap out of my calm trance and transform into an animalistic figure within seconds.

Why am I this way?

Because I am, and shall probably always be, unstable.

I wonder if there's anyone who could treat and cease this unstability...?